February 2012
66 posts
I push people away, whether I intend to, or not. I don’t know, I’m scared of introducing someone new to my life, I guess. I’m so caught up in trying to explain myself to other people who don’t understand, when sometimes, I can’t even grasp the concept of what I’m trying to say myself. It’s a scary thing.
In class: oh yeah i totally get this
homework: lol what the fuck
test: lol what the fuck
report card: lol fuck
I kinda
feel really gross and I feel disappointed, and I feel probably every emotion there is out there.
I keep thinking about this. I keep thinking, like, what if your best isn’t good enough? What if it will never be good enough? What if it’s all your capable of? Man, I seriously, don’t even know anymore. I’m so lost.
first base: being in the same room
second base: breathing the same air
third base: eye contact
Don't go through my shit
Nothing is more annoying when someone goes through your shit and tries to take stuff from you. Just no. Stop. I mean it.
Stop
depending on me. Stop counting on me to always provide you with everything. What happens when I’m not there anymore? Or what happens when I’m not in control of someone else’s decision?
I need some consistency in my life.
My god...
Tumblr tells you a lot about a person. Like, there’s this girl in one of my classes, and she seems happy. Genuinely happy. But once I came across her tumblr, wow, I mean, I seriously didn’t know she had it hard. People go through so much and you don’t even know it.
Woah
Hi. You’re cute. Hehehehehe. Fall in love with me and take me to prom. LOLjk. But it does make me feel special that you actually notice me and call me out across campus. No one really does that… I mean, even I wouldn’t do it.
So pessimistic
All of my posts are so pessimistic, so negative. But who ever heard of ecstatic, optimistic writers? Nope. The best writers come from the dark, the depressed, and the lonely…
Lack of effort
Ugh so today… was sort of an eye-opener to me. I seriously feel like I’m throwing my life away. I feel like I don’t have any motivation to do anything and my grades are clearly evident. Yeah, whatever, so 2 C’s aren’t that great… but who ever said they were that bad either? I feel like I have so many expectations to live up to, but I’m not...
Kids at my school: I like to smoke weed and get high and I also like to smoke cigarettes.
Me: Sometimes when it's cold, I like to breathe really heavy and pretend i'm a dragon.
2 tags
Fuck it
This is my blog and I’m gunna put my own life on blast if I have to.
Ugh
So for the past… month or two… We’ve seriously been acting like we’re complete strangers to each other. We don’t even acknowledge each other’s presence anymore. To be honest, I don’t even think we even look at each other. I wonder why. It makes me kinda sad.
You know what I'm scared of?
I’m scared he’s trying to prevent you from talking to me. I wonder if he gets awkward or upset since we started talking. So that just makes me wonder if he tries to talk shit about me so you’ll see what he sees. I just don’t want to explain myself yet. You haven’t asked anyways. But the main reason why I didn’t bring it up is because I don’t want you...
////vent
I guess I’ll start off by saying I was honestly upset. I was upset that you were trying to hide something from me, regardless of what the situation was. I was upset you would choose to tell him over me. But who was always there for you? Who had your back from the start? It wasn’t him… that was me. Kind of shows me how much you value our friendship. It made me sad actually,...
Does everyone not get it?
I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want anyone to talk to me. I don’t care anymore. I’m tired. I’m tired of everyone expecting me to do things. I’m tired of trying to act like I’m okay when I’m really not. I’m tired of trying to wipe away my tears so no one will notice. I just want time for myself. Is that so hard to understand? I...
parents: wow you look gorgeous you are so beautiful
family: surely you have 14 boyfriends and boys falling at your feet
friends: omg you are soooo pretty
boys: I've never really seen this species of animal before
Fuck
give me an anonymous blog so I can make posts about shit that actually bothers me. Give me a blog where no one knows who I am and I don’t know who they are. I need something I can confess my feelings to. I need that sympathetic ear, I might even have to resort to a diary sooner or later.